You know you are in IITK when...

Yes, yes. Very clichéd. But Ashish and I liked it. So here's a quick guide for all those who wonder......

You know you're in IITK when:
1] The single most used, most abused word that encapsulates life here is.......< *drumroll*>...... "frust". You are so frustrated with the length of the word frustrated because you use it so many frustrating times that you get frustrated and end up making a short form of the word so you don't get frustrated saying frustrated all the time. Wasn't that frustrating? :P

But seriously, here you are frust with acads, frust with mess food, frust with the profs, frust with your wingie for not returning your set square which you need in TA Lab and it's already 10:05 and you're gonna be late, frust with the dhobi banging on your door all the time(dhobi:bhaiya, kapde! me: kaun $^@*($#&), frust at the lack of the fairer sex, frust at the bad water supply when you finally decide to have a bath after a week, frust with the ^&%#ing peacocks waking you up in the morning, frust with all the thousand little things that you have to do to survive(bills, study notes, recharge, smelly clothes, pending assignments etc. etc. etc.).

2]A person who has a bath more than once a week is looked upon with amazement(Wasting water, the ^%$$&*^$!).

3]People either have really long hair or no hair at all(Either way, they look like dorks, so what the hell).

4]The most abused thing on campus are our alarm clocks that are inhumanly thrown/rattled in rage(STOP RINGING *$^$(&*) or just completely ignored. Here's what an IITian usually goes through in the morning:
At 7am
a. Alarm rings.
b. Ignore.
c. When the sound refuses to abate, press snooze.
d. Enjoy blissful sleep for the next 5 minutes.
e. Alarm rings again. Go back to b.
f. Continue steps a-e till it's 9:55am and you have to get up anyway because you have a lab that cannot be bunked sadly.
g. If by any chance, it's past 10, go back to sleep(I mean, aren't you a man of principles? You either attend on time or not at all).

5] There is no such thing as a 'routine'. Impulsiveness is the way of life. A trip to the library is very very very easily diverted to a trip to the canteen on seeing some friends(definition of friend: any familiar face is good enough). Dinner at 2am, sleep at 4am, breakfast at 11am, tennis/badminton/tt/cricket anytime. Notice the complete absence of studies.

6] One of the most common jokes you hear is about the 'male frustration coefficient': the ratio of peacocks to girls on campus which remains constant at about 117.12. Guys masquerading as girls online, making fake Orkut profiles to trick other guys is commonplace here. A guy may not get noticed even if he wins a ^$*$ing Nobel but a girl breaking her sandal is front page news.

7]The best place in the whole campus is the canteen. A place you go to at least thrice a day. The mess food is inedible to say the least with people choking on bones and rubbery rotis(what's for lunch in the mess today? rubber pani(some paneer gravy dish) and rock hard rotis that should be used in commercials of toothpastes{look how strong this toothpaste made our teeth, we can BITE this!}).<------Nice brackets rite?;) A trip to the canteen with an empty wallet doesn't mean you'll come out with an empty stomach, you have benevolent seniors and kind-hearted peers who HAVE made the mistake of bringing their wallets and they shall gladly finance your meal. Also an awesome excuse to stop studying during exams(I'm soooooooooooooo frust with acads. Canteen!).

8] Inter-college fests are a time when the entire campus undergoes a major face lift. Antaragni: four days when we see strange species otherwise extinct on campus. Female Bipedal primates belonging to the mammalian species Homo Sapiens, also referred to as nain sukh prapti or eye-candy. Freshers and seniors alike try their luck at "The Quest": To get a person of the fairer sex to talk to you. A successful conversation could be something like:

Guy looking glassy eyed and overwhelmed by the sheer tidal force of the beauty around him. Summoning courage, he walks up to a solitary ravishing female.

Glassy Eyed IITian: Ummmm, soooooo, excuse me.....

Pulchritudinous girl: Yeah?

GEI: Welllll(much to his chagrin, realizing that his otherwise reliable mental faculties are not responding here), are you enjoying Antaragni?

PG: It's good enough, I guess.

GEI: So....(looks left and right for inspiration)....(sees a hoarding for AIDS awareness)...AIDS huh? It would suck having that.

PG: (pretty abashed) What?

GEI: No I meant the shade, it's too sunny here, let's stand under AIDS, I mean the shade. (Sweat glands working in overdrive)

PG: Uh, actually I had to go and meet my college friends...

GEI: No wait, there was something else, uhhh well, your hair....it is really long and uhhh black.....

PG: OK......

GEI: No I mean really, it's so black, like black paint or shoe polish you know. It's like, long, black and straight. Did you dye it today?

PG: OK, I REALLY have to leave now. Uhhh, bye, I guess.

GEI: Sure, see you around...

PG:(mutters under her breath) I hope not, sheesh!

Did I say successful conversation? Yes, because at the end of the day, our GEI goes back and flaunts this conversation to his friends, with "minor" changes of course.....
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Comments are welcome!